


Water Bombs Away

by pantomyme



Series: Monthly Activities and Incident Reports [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24763630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantomyme/pseuds/pantomyme
Summary: Dimitri had grabbed Edelgard around the waist and was currently hauling her towards the inflatable kiddie pool full of water set up on the edge of the lawn. She managed to get out a “do not MANDHANDLE me, Dimitri” before he unceremoniously dumped his sister into the tepid water.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan
Series: Monthly Activities and Incident Reports [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790878
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	Water Bombs Away

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted some fun college AU shenanigans based off my own experiences. I modeled the building after my own freshman year dorm. I have many stories from that dorm that I'd like to map the characters onto because let me tell you. It was a very weird dorm.

“Look out!” Leonie shouted in warning just a little too late. Seemingly on reflex, Marianne turned her face away as the water balloon hit her squarely in the back of the head, dousing her already soaked hair in even more water.

“No face shots,” Byleth called from her folding chair near the pump. She slipped the edge of the uninflated balloon around the hose nozzle and pulled the trigger, having opted to keep them in supply of the watery projectiles instead of participating in the battle.

“I’m so sorry Marianne!” Ingrid said, hands over her mouth. “I miscalculated when throwing.”

Marianne shook her head slightly, feeling a thick lock of hair fall from her braided updo. “Oh, um, it’s alright. I managed to turn my head in time,” she said. This garnered her a cheerful thumbs up from Hilda, who was proud of her for not claiming that it was somehow her fault. Felix took advantage of the distraction to land a hit, causing the pink haired girl to squeal as the balloon burst and drenched her hip and upper thigh.

“Oooh, foul!” Hilda called out as she whipped her head around to confront her attacker.

“What ‘foul’? Are we even doing fouls?” He asked, spreading his arms in confused indignation.

“It’s just _rude_ to hit someone when they’re checking on someone else!”

“I’m fine, Hilda, really.”

“Don’t bother,” Ingrid muttered as she helped pin Marianne’s fallen hair back into place. “Hilda’s just being Hilda.”

Over on her chair, Byleth continued to fill water balloons, expression even more unreadable than usual with the pair of giant plastic sunglasses perched on her nose. It was the beginning of her second month as the resident advisor for this hall and she had decided that a water balloon fight would be the perfect idea for her monthly activity. A nice last hurrah for summer before fall began in earnest.

And judging from the sheer amount of _energy_ her students had exhibited throughout the previous month, hopefully a good way to tire them out on a Friday afternoon so that she might have a nice, peaceful weekend.

“Petra! I am fairly certain that an aerial bombardment from the trees is not within the acceptable parameters of this exercise,” Lorenz, irritated at having been hit with not one, not two, but three balloons in rapid succession from overhead, yelled in the direction of the Brigid exchange student. She had somehow managed to climb into the upper branches of one of the spindly trees that dotted the lawn of the dorm despite said trees looking like they would blow over at a sneeze.  
Perhaps Byleth’s peaceful weekend was not in the cards but damnit a girl could dream.

“I am not remembering any rulings against it,” Petra replied calmly as she performed a controlled fall out of the tree. 

Byleth weighed her options. On one hand, this was an official school function and she probably needed to enforce safety protocols, but on the other she really was impressed that Petra had managed to even climb those trees, let alone carrying three water balloons.

“Probably best to stay on the ground,” she called over before Lorenz could offer a retort. “Rhea loves those trees and would probably be upset if anyone caused any damage to them.”

Petra nodded thoughtfully. “I am understanding your reason and I will be remaining on the ground,” she said before taking off like a shot towards the bucket of prepared balloons sitting next to Byleth. “Now, be seeing if you can be repairing your honor!” She yelled over her shoulder as Lorenz sputtered.

Byleth continued to fill balloons as she daydreamed of going to the pier and fishing in peace and quiet.

“Well, Teach, looks like this month’s event is a resounding success.” 

Claude stood next to her chair, backpack hanging off one shoulder as he surveyed the scene. Dimitri had grabbed Edelgard around the waist and was currently hauling her towards the inflatable kiddie pool full of water set up on the edge of the lawn. She managed to get out a “do not MANDHANDLE me, Dimitri” before he unceremoniously dumped his sister into the tepid water.

“Hello, Claude,” Byleth said as Hubert stalked over to the bucket and began loading up on balloons. “No face shots,” she warned, seeing the determined look in his eye. He nodded once and began making his way back to where Edelgard was splashing Dimitri from the kiddie pool.

“Having a late Friday class sucks on its own but it’s even worse when I miss out on events like this,” Claude sighed.

“You still have time,” she said, placing a newly filled balloon in the bucket. “There’s another hour left before I have to chase you all back in.”

“Oh, well, don’t mind if I do! Mind if I leave my stuff here?” 

He was already toeing off his flip flops so she shook her head. His backpack made a concerning thunk as it hit the ground and a moment later his t-shirt joined it.

“Don’t you want to change into a swimsuit?” Byleth asked him, eyebrows drawn in slight confusion.

“Don’t have one. And the only other alternative is being written up for indecent exposure so I’ll just stick to my shorts,” he said with a wink. “Alright, Teach, hit me!”

Claude held out his hand as he turned to watch his dorm mates run around the small square of green space, most likely deciding on his first target. Byleth hesitated a moment. She could hand him a few balloons, like he was expecting, or....

“Whoa!” Claude jumped as the balloon hit his shoulder, splashing the both of them with water. He stared at her, slightly stunned.

“Welcome to the inaugural Sothis Hall water balloon fight,” she deadpanned, ignoring the water dripping down half her face and sunglasses. He blinked at her a few times and then burst out laughing.

“Claude! Good, you’re here,” Edelgard called from where she was standing next to a newly soaked Dimitri and smug Hubert. “Get over here, we’re gonna do a class on class on class fight!”

Still chuckling, Claude ducked over and grabbed two balloons out of the bucket, wagging his eyebrows at the RA as he held them up. “I’ve learned my lesson!” Turning, he jogged over to the spot Edelgard and Dimitri and a few of their other classmates had congregated.

“How are we going to account for the uh. I’m sorry, Edelgard, what did your class decide on?” Mercedes asked, grimacing apologetically.

“Black Eagles.”

“Ugh, do we actually have to use the names? We’re in college, not kindergarten,” Sylvain muttered. Ingrid elbowed him.

“It’s a tradition for the program so just shut up about it already, will you?” Sylvain rubbed his arm with a glare as Ingrid turned to Mercedes. “What were you going to say, Mercie?”

“Ah, yes, thank you. I was going to ask, how are we going to account for the Black Eagles being down one person? Bernadetta made it very clear she wasn’t going to participate and it doesn’t seem fair for the other two classes to have more people.”

“Oh, I can sit out?” Ignatz said, tentatively. “I haven’t really been able to do much without my glasses on.”

“Hey, I think you’ve been doing okay! You hit me earlier,” Raphael said, clapping the smaller boy on the shoulder.

“No offence, Raph, but you’re kind of hard to miss…” Caspar said, shaking his head as Annette giggled.

“What about the uhhh…” Claude snapped his fingers a couple of times. “Blue Lions?”

“I’ll join Ignatz on the sidelines,” Mercedes offered with a sweet smile. “I can enjoy watching everyone have fun just as much as if I were participating.”

“Can I sit out, too? I” --Linhardt yawned-- “could really use a nap…”

“No, the point of this was to even out the teams,” Edelgard said in a tone that brooked no argument. Linhardt sighed.

“I think --”

“Shouldn’t we --”

Dorothea and Lysithea both paused before Dorothea gestured for the younger girl to go ahead.

“Shouldn’t we settle on some ground rules?”

“Yes, I believe some _ground_ rules would be wise,” Lorenz said, glaring at Petra.

“I have already been agreeing not to climb the trees, Lorenz.”

“Good! Now that we have that established, what else?” Annette said, effectively shutting down the argument that looked like it was brewing.

“Let’s go see if Byleth wants any help,” Ignatz said quietly to Mercedes as their various classmates began talking over one another trying to settle on the rules. Together they made their way over to where the RA was watching behind her impenetrable plastic sunglasses.

“Is there anything we can do?” Mercedes asked as they heard Dedue yell “One at a time!” in an attempt to reign in the discussion behind them.

“Well, we only have one hose, but you can help me tie the balloons off after I’ve filled them,” she replied, handing one to Mercedes while Ignatz pulled their towels free of the pile.

“Certainly!”

The two settled themselves and began their modified assembly line, comfortable in their companionable silence. After a few minutes and many balloons, the rest of their classmates trooped over to load up on ammunition, seemingly having settled on an agreement. Byleth handed them out two at a time while Ignatz took over the hose.

“No face shots,” was all she said before turning them loose.

All in all it wasn’t as chaotic as it could have been, which Byleth was counting as a success. A five foot radius around her chair had become an off limits area after Ashe had dodged a throw from Leonie and the balloon had landed between Mercedes and Ignatz, splashing them both. There was one memorable moment when Ferdinand had shouted “I am Ferdinand von Aegir!” before throwing his balloon at Marianne, who proceeded to catch it without it bursting. They both had simply stared at each other, stunned, before Dorothea had sniped one and Claude the other.

In the end, only one team emerged victorious.

“Fear the deer!” Hilda shouted, jumping up and down and high fiving Raphael.

“Damn, I thought we had you for a moment,” Dimitri groaned from where he’d collapsed on the ground as the final ‘out’.

“Don’t underestimate a member of the soccer team,” Leonie said as she stretched, having been Dimitri’s final opponent.

“I, for one, think this calls for a feast. Everyone invited, of course,” Claude announced from where he lay, dislodging a few of the water balloons Caspar and Petra had been stacking on his chest. “Okay, I think these need to come off now, they’re starting to get heavy.”

Raphael let out a whoop. “Hell yeah! What kind of feast did you have in mind? There’s gotta be meat!” 

“How does sausage on pizza sound?” Byleth asked, checking her phone. “It should be delivered in about 10 minutes.”

Raphael whooped again.

“Great minds think alike, eh, Teach?” He was close enough that all she had to do was reach out with her foot to poke him in the side. She must have hit a ticklish spot because he yelped and curled protectively around his side, nearly rolling into Petra, who patted his shoulder sympathetically.

“Why don’t we all get dried off and changed?” Edelgard suggested. “Then we can meet in the lounge for our, ahem, feast.”

“I’ll probably need some help carrying the pizzas in once they get here,” Byleth said as she began folding her chair.

“Oh, we should clean up the popped balloons, too!” Annette said, already picking her way through the lawn. After a bit of discussion the dorm mates broke off into groups to pick up the remainders of their game, eager to get back inside the building to eat junk food after a fun filled afternoon.

Later, as Raphael and Caspar helped bring the newly delivered pizzas up to their floor, Byleth felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Juggling her own boxes, she pulled it out and opened the text from her dad.

_My favorite is the redhead who got them to clean up after themselves so I didn’t have to do it._

As the faculty in residence for the dorm, she highly doubted Jeralt would have been responsible for cleaning up after them, but she decided not to argue the point. Instead, she just sent an emoji that she knew would confuse him and make him scowl at his phone as he grumbled that he was too old for this.


End file.
